Statistics makes me cry
My friends will think I'm stupid for not being able to cope with SPSS
Standard deviations excite me
I dream that Pearson is attacking me with correlation coefficients
I don't understand statistics
I have little experience of computers
All computers hate me
I have never been good at mathematics
My friends are better at statistics than me
Computers are useful only for playing games
I did badly at mathematics at school
People try to tell you that SPSS makes statistics easier to understand but it doesn't
I worry that I will cause irreparable damage because of my incompetence with computers
Computers have minds of their own and deliberately go wrong whenever I use them
Computers are out to get me
I weep openly at the mention of central tendency
I slip into a coma whenever I see an equation
SPSS always crashes when I try to use it
Everybody looks at me when I use SPSS
I can't sleep for thoughts of eigenvectors
I wake up under my duvet thinking that I am trapped under a normal distribution
My friends are better at SPSS than I am